Who Am I? Who Are You? Where Do We Belong?

Hello everyone! My name is Marie, and my question to you is “Who are You?” That was my question to me for so many years. Do you ever question who you are? Where you belong? Will you ever belong? These days it is so easy to get caught up in trying to fit in that we lose ourselves. We lose sight of who we are. When we are different, when we don’t quite fit in, when we are the square peg trying to shove ourselves into that round hole in front of us, it is PAINFUL! The rejection, the loneliness, the longing to be “in”, to be…. “normal”. I’m here to say there is HOPE! You Are Not Alone!

Bullying, Cliques, Harassment, Loneliness, Self-Doubt, Depression,Abuse…. SUICIDE.

These things are real and they are painful, and occur far too often. People say, “It gets better”. We’ve all heard of the “It gets better” movement, and that is great. But sometimes I wonder if we all really believe it. I know there were times when I have thought it will never get better. I still have those moments of weakness. Growing up my family moved so many times due to my father’s work that I had to go to multiple different schools. Dropping everything, leaving all your friends behind and starting over year after year can be hard. Finally, after settling down in a one place long enough to go to the same school for my ENTIRE high school career I thought I had it all! I was making friends, a Track and Cross Country star, running with the Varsity Team as a Freshman! I had it all. Finally, my life was right. Until…. my body stops working right. I can’t explain it, but something is wrong. “But you don’t look sick”, “You’re too young to be feeling that way”, “It’s all in your head”. These are all of the things I heard. From doctors, from family, from friends, from everyone- for years! I thought I was going crazy! Finally, at the age of 32, after 18 years of searching I finally found an answer. Mitochondrial Disease. It doesn’t solve my problem, but at least I know I’m not crazy. Now I know what I can do about it.

For so long I felt like I didn’t belong. I couldn’t keep up with the “Able-bodied” world, but I never quite fit in or was accepted into the “Disabled” world. It really bothered me, and I worried all the time what people would think. It impacted my personal life, my work, my relationships, EVERYTHING. Now that my disability is getting worse, I am learning to let go, and finally, after 33 years on this Earth I have begun to understand who I am. With the support of others we can all get back up. No matter what your personal struggle may be, we all need support. Follow me and we can support each other because ultimately whether you are white, black, male, female, gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transgender, asexual, physically disabled, mentally disabled, emotionally disabled, able bodied, living with an invisible disability, or just lost and searching for a friend, we ALL need support and love, and that is why I am here!