Mito Marie

Mito Marie
MitoMarie. Yep that's me!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

#NoExcuses ?????

Over the last few years the popular phrase "No Excuses" has become an overused inspirational quote which has been placed on multiple images of children and adults with disabilities performing various tasks that are meant to inspire and motivate people to never give up. These images have flooded social media, and have been commercialized as inspiration porn for able-bodied people to motivate them to achieve their goals because, let's face it, no matter how bad their situation is, it couldn't be as bad as the poor disabled kid in the photo, right? While I understand the initial intent of the movement of giving disabled individuals a voice to show that they are capable of doing anything that able-bodied individuals can do, I feel we have lost touch with what our goals are, and we have created a situation that has become a hazard for our disabled youth and newly disabled individuals. By saying "No Excuses", we are essentially telling people with disabilities that they have no excuse for being unable to perform a certain task, and this is untrue. Every individual, whether disabled or not, has an excuse for not being able to perform certain tasks at some times or another. We should not place shame on them for being unable to perform those tasks, and by popularizing the phrase "No Excuses" we are essentially condemning those who have excuses for being unable to perform. 

Let's take my situation for example. There are times when I am simply unable to walk any further, hold up my arm or sit in a chair any longer, etc. If I push myself any farther than that I risk severe muscle contractions and seizure-like symptoms which in turn result in days of recovery, or possibly a hospital visit. Now, I could go along with the mindset of "No Excuses" and push on, but that would be damaging my body and my mental health. Is it worth it? I don't think so. Let's consider the high school student who has Cerebral Palsy with severe spasticity in all four limbs. She wants to play in the band so badly, but cannot because she is unable to control her limb movement well enough to manipulate any of the instruments. We tell her there are "No Excuses", but she cannot play an instrument. Is she now a lesser person because she was unable to perform? If there are truly "No Excuses" then we are sending the message that anyone with an excuse is not as capable as someone else, and therefore not as worthy. What does that do to their self esteem? Sometimes there are excuses, and those excuses need to be validated. I wish I would have come to this conclusion when I was a young teenager playing wheelchair basketball. At that time, I bought into the idea of "No Excuses". I pushed my body past it's limit each and every game because I knew that if everyone else could do it I should be able to as well. I caused myself so much pain and suffering because I refused to listen to my body and set my own limits based on what my body required. I was afraid of being judged as weak or unworthy. 

We have newly diagnosed, newly injured, and young children who look to us for guidance on how to live with their disability. We need to teach them that having a disability is not something of which they should be ashamed. We need to teach them to embrace everything that makes them who they are, and to love all aspects of themselves. It is ok to say, "I can't do that". Someone who is paralyzed from a spinal cord injury is going to be unable to climb a flight of stairs no matter how much they wish their legs will move. The "No Excuses" motto is not going to work here, so they are going to need to learn to live around their disability. I think a better motto is one from Megan Bomgaars from the show "Born This Way" who says, "Don't Limit Me". By saying "Don't Limit Me" she is saying, allow me to grow as much as I can, and support me in my choices and decisions in my life. She is accepting her disability and her limitations, but is asking that others not limit her capabilities. I would ask that the world not limit anyone with a disability, and allow each and every person to grow and learn their own limits and capabilities. When we take away the pressure of "No Excuses" we allow individuals with disabilities to freely explore their own capabilities, but also allow them the freedom to say, "I need help" without the stigma of feeling like a failure.